


Can we pretend I didn’t just say that?

by Luca_Crimson



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Boys Kissing, Fluff and Angst, Happy Ending, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-19
Updated: 2016-05-19
Packaged: 2018-06-09 10:53:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,248
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6902872
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Luca_Crimson/pseuds/Luca_Crimson
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Another one-shot for catching the Hitchhiker's guide reference in Chapter 4 of "He came like an oncoming Storm".</p>
            </blockquote>





	Can we pretend I didn’t just say that?

**Author's Note:**

  * For [azul_ora](https://archiveofourown.org/users/azul_ora/gifts).



> I officially suck at writing angst.  
> Hope you still enjoy it.

Remus Lupin does not do drunk. He is a prefect, for Merlin’s sake and he has to keep tabs on (read babysit) his friends. Circe knows what they may get up to otherwise. And alcohol does not mix well with his wolf, that mortifying experience in third year. Or the one right after the O.W.L.s. maybe it is not just his wolf that does not do well with alcohol but he, Remus Lupin, in general. So yeah, Remus Lupin does not do drunk, for several good reasons.

Then how is it that he is sitting in the common room around half past three in the morning with three empty fire whiskey bottles on the table before him, drunker than he ever was before? The answer is simple, because being drunk is a problem and all of his problems (expect his lycanthropy) share the same reason: Sirius Black or rather his gigantic, ridiculous crush on the man. The man who was one of his best friends. The friend who is as straight an arrow. The friend who just broke up with another girlfriend. The friend whose drunken head is currently lying on his lap. Without any hint that he intends to get up soon.

He remembers all too clearly how Sirius came into the common room, shortly after midnight, carrying a few bottles of Odgen’s Finest (he probably nicked them from Slughorn’s cabinet or something). He recalls how Sirius plummeted down next to him, stealing his book and replacing it with a bottle. How they both began drinking while Sirius told him of what happened. And all the time Remus could only pay half of his attention because the other half of his brain was too occupied with senseless daydreaming and conjuring stupid hopes of a requited love between them.

And how stupid they are. Sirius and Marlene have been one of the most popular couples in Hogwarts for the last two months. People had even started saying that the notorious playboy had finally settled down. Having these two break up was not something that anybody had expected. Not with all the PDA and the shared glances and…everything. And no matter how much it may have hurt Remus that it wasn’t him. He has tried his best to be happy for his friend. But now, with the hopes and daydreams starting again, Remus has to admit that part of him was simply happy that Sirius does not belong to some woman anymore.

If he does not already have a new target. Remus feels all of his hopes collapse once that thought has crossed his mind. Yes, in at least a week Sirius would have a new, undoubtedly gorgeous girlfriend hanging of his arm.

And it were thoughts like these that had brought Remus to where he is now. In the common room half past three, with too much alcohol in his system and an emotional rollercoaster inside his chest. This is by no means going to end well if he does not go to bed soon.

At least they don’t have class tomorrow.

“Hey~~~ moony~~~” Sirius drawls or slurs (Remus is not exactly sure). Whilst raising his head from Remus’ legs. There are many thoughts flashing through his head at once: Should he reply? If, then how? He should also pull his legs out from under Sirius’ head. And how is he even able to talk? He drank much more than Remus…

Though he manages to pull his legs away, Sirius takes that movement as an encouragement to say whatever he wanted to say: “Can you help me take off my clothes? I’m so hot!”

At this point Remus wants everyone reading this to know one thing: Under any normal circumstances he would have not replied the way he does. But he was drunk and emotionally distraught. So he says:

“Yes you are.”

Oh Merlin. No! He did not just say that! This was going to ruin everything! Sirius would be disgusted and leave him. And James would leave as well, because Sirius is like the brother he never had. And Peter would follow James and Sirius and he will be alone and not even Lily would talk to him, because she would also be disgusted and… wait, he could still save the situation…

“Can we pretend I didn’t just say that?” In his drunken state, Sirius might actually manage that. And he would forget this conversation by tomorrow morning as well. Yes, everything would be fine.

“Why should we?” asks Sirius. Remus internally curses. Of course, nothing in his life can be easy…

“Because I just said something I meant but I don’t you to know, because you are straight and I’m gay and I love you, have loved you since fifth year. And please just forget what I said right now as well.” Apparently alcohol shut down his brain-mouth-filter. Which of course caused the situation to become unsalvageable.

“Now, why would I do that?” Sirius takes Remus wrists, pushes him down onto the couch, so that Remus was lying flat on his back whilst Sirius is pushed up on hands and knees. The moonlight casts silver specks on Sirius’ skin. The dying embers emit a red glow that mixes well with Sirius’ pale skin and Remus kisses self-preservation good bye and simply states what he feels: “You look beautiful.” He whispers reverently. Sirius brushes a wayward curl of Remus’s hair out of his face.

And then lips connect with his.

It is everything and more. It is warmth and heat and teeth clicking together. It is a bit awkward and sloppy, because Remus is inexperienced and Sirius is drunk and they are on a couch, but it doesn’t matter for around one perfect minute. When Remus regains his ability to think.

“Stop!” He says, pushing Sirius away. “This is not the moment for your jokes Sirius! I mean it! I…you…If you have to reject me, please do it in a less hurtful way! Don’t make fun of me or pretend to like my out of pity or worse because you think that you have to do it as a friend.” Remus is panting for air both because of the rant he just had and because of the kiss that is still tingling on his lips.

“I am not pitying you!” Sirius is above him again, silver eyes all but glowing. Before Remus can answer he continues: “I knew you love me. And I dated all these girls to make you jealous, because I love you too and because you are too modest to do anything about it, I needed to take away your rationality otherwise… argh. This all just failed and now I am really frustrated because everything I needed to do was make you drunk.”

“Wait…do you mean that you aren’t drunk right now?” asks Remus. This is too good to be true.

“Out of everything in my speech and you latch onto that de--” Sirius does not get any further, because Remus is pulling down his mouth and just kisses him. And it’s the first kiss all over again, just much better.

He feels Sirius lift him up and he thanks the endless hours of Quidditch training his friend – no, boyfriend – went through, because they allow Sirius to carry him up to the dorm room, without stopping the kiss.

He hears the distinct sound of a door locking behind them.

Luckily they do not have classes tomorrow.

 

FIN


End file.
